Amy's so called life

This year of 2014 has been very hard on me mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically (the nice thing is that my marriage has been wonderful! I love being with my husband, he has been a rock for me. My husband has listened to me and has been there on so many levels I don't know what I would do without him if he ever left or something happened to him)  I feel like I have been dragged through the mud on so many levels, situations, people with my depression I feel defeated even with anti-depression meds. I blame myself for it all because I have opened my mouth, that's when the ugliness comes out (hence the last post) makes me want to hide because I feel so ashamed because of the ugliness. I might sound like I blame others but I am the one to blame because I am the one who has the low self esteem, can't control my temper, keep inappropriate comments to myself, socially awkward on so many levels.

So how I feel as a person and how I treat people are pretty close and it's not pretty I don't think because of how I handle situations, talk to loved ones, treat myself, etc. I feel so ugly inside and out and the only person I blame is myself. I know I have become mentally ugly as well, the best pictures I could find that could come close to how I feel are these: