the joys of getting old

-
so everybody has herd the saying from Steve Young that "if your not married by the age of 25-30 your a menace to society" well I'm expired!!! by a long shot. well ever scence I turned 30 I seriouly have felt like an old woman. I have seen 18 yr old girls or women walking around with babies and I wish I could be 18 again and change so many things so I wouldn't end up as an "old maid or the crazy CAT LADY". might as well be that crazy cat lady from the Simpsons who was a sucessfull lawer then just one day snaped and ended up as a bum on the street and had a tons of cats. well it looks like I'm on my way to snaping I have two cats already and adopted a stray. Also ever scence I've turned 30 I've had health problems and going to the dr. is not fun anymore. it has given me a reason to snap along with MANY, MANY, MANY other things of why I could "snap" don't get me wrong I think I've had a good life and having the opertunity to travel has been a blessing. Also being able to have a roof over my head and a place to rest my head(got to love the bed) I'm greatful for that as well. also a job to go to and an education to learn from. looking from the outside in on my life you would think I have it all and I do but the one thing I want so badly is to have somebody who is mentally normal and not a cat to just love me for who and what I am just a person wanting to make a good life for myself and do good in the world. but sence I'm so old I know that will never happen also with my health getting to be what it is I don't know if anybody would want to deal with me epecially here in the state of Utah. well as I tell everybody my life story but this is just scratching the surface of my life and the crazyness that goes on in my head.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MERRY FREAK'N CHRISTMAS

-
Image
Well I'm officially done with school for a while the only time I'll get a break for the whole year so might as well enjoy it while I can!! So I haven't herd from Matt and I'm not really planing to for the rest of my life. just a little update on that aspect I'm doing my best to keep a positive attitude on relationships and all that "junk" it doesn't help when you see two of your classmates kind of being physically intimate it just makes me want to do allot of things but I keep to myself until I get home then I just break down and ???? with seeing them being close it hurts allot but I know it's not my place to say anything so I don't. Obviously I'm not over the whole thing of having my "boyfriend" leaving and then not really.......well come to think there was a whole lot of other things but in the long run, I've figured He just wasn't that into me, it hurts. Hence that's why I'm just trying to have a better attitude...
Read more

what's wrong ?!?!

-
So lateley I feel like I have been feeling lucky because I have all these wonderful things like a bed to sleep in, a house to live in, a car to drive, even enjoying the great weather, having a job and thankful I have one, food to eat every day, and even a husband that loves me and laughs at my dorkyness. but the thing that sucks the most is having depression, I couldn't ask for a better life and the simplisity of it but for some reason I couldn't be more misrable and would love to live somebody else's life and to get away from the depression I hate it like a plague it feels like I have the plauge and can't do anything about it makes me want to cry but the thing is that there's nothing to cry about because I have such a good life and there is nothing to be sad about what so ever alot of times I want to curle up in a very dark hole in outer mongolia and covering myself with a rock and just stay there.
Read more

Update on this and on my life

-
I figured if anybody reads this that's great if not that's OK too, but I wanted to update this Blog Spot and my life from depression, despair and sorrow to happiness, full of life and happiness. I want to have a better outlook in life even if it has taken me 40 years to see that and that's OK. I think the reason why is because I finally am in a place where I'm actually happy and I'm moving forward in my life and I don't have anybody or anything holding me back, I'm exited! especially with the new year coming up might as well start everything fresh with the new year of 2018!
Read more