This is my life, what I have made of it, and what it has become.
Ian and me some more
Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps
-
I thought it was fun to drag Ian with me to the trees so we can be children of the trees together so here are some of the pictures that we took hope ya'll like them as mush as I do!
I have decided that I don't ever want to have kids in this life or in the next life because I have decided that I am by what other people's standards a "child molester" overbearing, to rough, yell at them for no reason what-so-ever horrible person to be around with kids so I have self diagnosed that I'm not a great person to be around with kids because I am inappropriate around them in any and every way possible.
Would you choose differently if you could choose your occupation again? Why? How? Any advice? I have been thinking allot about having a new occupation (don't get me wrong I love working as a crossing guard) I wish I could take all the experiences that I have had from the time I graduated from high school til now and condense them into Jr. high til about 20ish, I know that would be allot in a "short" life but I feel like I could have the life I have lead but add to it with an education while still young. Don't get me wrong I don't regret my life at all I have learned allot from lifes lessons, it's not the "typical" Utah life but I would not trade what I have learned for anything. I would love to get an education in the highest degree posible and use it to the best way posible.
This year of 2014 has been very hard on me mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically (the nice thing is that my marriage has been wonderful! I love being with my husband, he has been a rock for me. My husband has listened to me and has been there on so many levels I don't know what I would do without him if he ever left or something happened to him) I feel like I have been dragged through the mud on so many levels, situations, people with my depression I feel defeated even with anti-depression meds. I blame myself for it all because I have opened my mouth, that's when the ugliness comes out (hence the last post) makes me want to hide because I feel so ashamed because of the ugliness. I might sound like I blame others but I am the one to blame because I am the one who has the low self esteem, can't control my temper, keep inappropriate comments to myself, socially awkward on so many levels.
Comments