more pic's of ballons

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Update on this and on my life

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I figured if anybody reads this that's great if not that's OK too, but I wanted to update this Blog Spot and my life from depression, despair and sorrow to happiness, full of life and happiness. I want to have a better outlook in life even if it has taken me 40 years to see that and that's OK. I think the reason why is because I finally am in a place where I'm actually happy and I'm moving forward in my life and I don't have anybody or anything holding me back, I'm exited! especially with the new year coming up might as well start everything fresh with the new year of 2018!
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MERRY FREAK'N CHRISTMAS

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Well I'm officially done with school for a while the only time I'll get a break for the whole year so might as well enjoy it while I can!! So I haven't herd from Matt and I'm not really planing to for the rest of my life. just a little update on that aspect I'm doing my best to keep a positive attitude on relationships and all that "junk" it doesn't help when you see two of your classmates kind of being physically intimate it just makes me want to do allot of things but I keep to myself until I get home then I just break down and ???? with seeing them being close it hurts allot but I know it's not my place to say anything so I don't. Obviously I'm not over the whole thing of having my "boyfriend" leaving and then not really.......well come to think there was a whole lot of other things but in the long run, I've figured He just wasn't that into me, it hurts. Hence that's why I'm just trying to have a better attitude...
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update on provo rec center

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I know this might sound like some saga of the locker/restroom at the rec center in Provo but today I went back into the women's locker/restroom to face my demons/fears or whatever you what to call it and I did very well. I had no bad feelings or wanting to run out of the locker/bathroom screaming like a mad woman, hyperventilating, shaking like a leaf on a windy day. I had a very positive experience and I liked it. when I was backtracking through the locker/restroom a thought came to my head that the Holy Ghost had a part in this even though it may sound twisted and weird because I've told other people about this experience about this and they have mentioned that it could be the Holy Ghost prompting me to get out before it did happen and if I did stay in there if it would have happened and that's why I had been shaken to my "core" and left ASAP. but to today I felt so good and nothing "negative" happened which is good. yay!!!..................an...
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